How to Detect an Abusive Guy Before Tying the Knot

 By Wes Bredenhof

Knowledge is power and, when it comes to relationships, one of the most important bits of knowledge is how to detect an abuser before you marry one. In far too many cases, abusers hoodwink their prospective spouses during courtship. But this usually happens because the prospects/future victims don’t know what to look for. I hope this post will help.

A few important points beforehand:

• I have adapted this list of clues from a pamphlet produced by WestCASA (Western Region Against Sexual Assault) here in Australia. I have adapted it for a church-going audience.
• The list is not exhaustive and it’s important to realize that some abusers can’t be detected beforehand.
• Because domestic abuse is usually perpetrated by men, I’m going to use masculine pronouns. This isn’t to say that women can’t be or aren’t abusive.
• These are important things to reflect on as early as possible in the relationship. As the original pamphlet states: “Collect this information over at least 2-4 months and during this time try not to get too involved and keep strong boundaries.”
• If there are a few “Yes” answers to these questions, talk this information over with a professional support person (here in Australia you can call 1800Respect).

Read more here.