Take Note: Types of Abusive Men

Amazon Link

 By Pastor Shane Lems - Posted at The Reformed Reader Blog:

I was talking with a friend recently about abuse – specifically abuse in the church. It is no myth, nor is it a joke. It does happen that men in positions of church authority simultaneously abuse their authority and people under their authority. Speaking of abuse, including sexual, emotional, physical, or verbal abuse, here’s a good resource I’ve mentioned before: Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft. Please note that this is not a Christian book, and I don’t agree with every aspect. But it is a situation where Christians can “go to the ant” or “plunder the Egyptians” to get practical life wisdom (Prov. 6:6, 30:25, Ex. 12:35-36).

Speaking of abuse, after counseling hundreds of abuse victims, in the fourth chapter Bancroft notes a few different types of abusive men she has come across: The Demand Man, Mr. Right, The Water Torturer (figuratively), The Drill Sergeant, Mr. Sensitive, The Player, Rambo, The Victim, The Terrorist, and The Mentally Ill/Addicted Abuser. This is a very insightful chapter, and it lines up exactly with the information I’ve heard of or dealt with in a situation of abuse. Sadly, some abusive pastors and elders fit into one or more of these categories.

One category that I want to point out is the abusive man Lundy calls “Mr. Right.” Here is the outlook and attitude of this type of abusive man, in Lundy’s words...

Continue here.

See also:

• On Supporting an Abused Woman (Bancroft) – The Reformed Reader Blog (wordpress.com)
• Abusers Are NOT Victims! – The Reformed Reader Blog (wordpress.com)