The Tight Rope of Enablement and Showing Grace with Momma’s Boys

The Domain for Truth

Posted at The Domain for Truth:

I’m going to be honest: Ministering to Millennial lost boys have given me more gray hair than anything I’ve done (be it school, Iraq, cramming finished seminary with two masters in 3 years while working and doing ministry). I’m talking about momma’s boys that don’t want to grow up to live up to their responsibilities; yet they are so narcissistic they think everything is beneath them, be it jobs, having a boss or they look down on other people. It exhausts me more than preaching 70 times in two weeks or preparing a semester worth of teaching theology and the Bible in three weeks with several all-nighters. It fatigue me more than my first three weeks of Iraq as a Marine where I worked literally 24/7 and grabbed naps in between things. Lest people think I’m just looking down on Millennials I want to say I’m also a Millennial. I’m also writing this since our ministry is heading towards a better place and I’m looking back at the difficult guys I’ve ministered to and left.

You give everything you got. And its not enough. Over the years my wife and I must have spent tens of thousands of dollars to help these guys (we’re not rich). They are blood sucking leeches and not only are ungrateful but self-entitled. I use to live with the guilt of whether or not I’ve done enough such as more of God’s word should have been spoken, more of grace, more money, more self-sacrifice on my part, etc. As a pastor I’ve tutor guys for various college subjects, help paid for classes, recommended jobs, help paid for people to get cars, medical bills, etc. My church members have done the same. But then I noticed when we talk about family these guys live at home with their parents as adults and they are more of a liability than a financial help to their parents and yet they are self-entitled and leeching off their moms. That was a turning point. It changed my view of the problem that the problem wasn’t me; it was with them since they are like this with everyone, and everyone is helping them but they not only appreciate the help but blame people as the problem of not doing enough.

Continue reading...