Questions and answers concerning domestic abuse

 By Anna Grace Wood - Posted at Femina Sola Gratia:

Someone reached out to me with some questions concerning certain aspects of domestic abuse. This is not the first time I’ve had such questions from readers and others. I’ve worked with pastors who wanted to understand DV better and to understand the needs of women who have been abused.

I’m not a trained DV expert. I am a woman who has lived with abusers most of my life. I’ve experienced it at the hands of parents, husband, other family, and even wolves in a church I once attended. I’ve studied it extensively when I was co-authoring a book on the subject. However, the most important aspect of understanding domestic abuse is to know what God has to say on this subject. It is always Him that we are to seek to honor and obey, no matter what the subject might be.

So, towards that end, the questions…

Why do I say women will lie about being abused?
Worldly women will lie and say they have been abused, raped, attacked, etc., when they haven’t. It’s often a ploy for attention, for revenge, and so on. Some men’s lives have been horribly impacted by such lies.

Do abuse victims lie about being abused?
Being abused is humiliating and embarrassing and not the kind of thing that just comes up in conversation. It’s often dangerous to tell the truth about the abuse you are suffering under as your abuser may decide to punish you or those you love simply for the crime of you admitting that you are being abused or reaching out for help. Some abusers will kill or threaten to do so to protect their cruel secret. A woman who is being abused (or who has been) is far more likely to lie (if she lies at all) to cover up the abuse than she is to magnify it. This is especially true of Christian women.

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