By Anna Grace Wood - Posted at Tamar Weeps:
Have you ever been in a bouncy castle? Yeah? Were you able to stand? To walk unimpeded? To make progress without continuously falling down or stumbling? No? Why? Because the point of a bouncy castle is that it is unstable. You’re supposed to fall down, roll around, and to bounce into the walls and each other. There’s no stability in a bouncy castle because there’s nothing stable about it. With a bouncy castle, all the bouncing to and fro, all of the falling down and getting trounced on is fun. Translated to real life, it’s anything but fun.
Welcome to the life of an abused spouse.
Abusers come in all different flavors, if you will. The fellowship of abusive spouses has among its members the unemployed and the wildly successful, the financially adept and the serial bankrupted, the entrepreneur and the hourly worker, the uneducated and the ultra educated, the atheist and the religious. The members may be rich or poor, country folks or city dwellers, men or, at times, women. The thing that binds them all together is a desire to control someone else, make them do their bidding, and to do it at any and all costs.
Abused spouses usually come in one flavor: The beaten down. Rich or poor, educated or not, it doesn’t matter in the end. Their lives have been hijacked by another and they are reduced to living in the equivalent of a bouncy castle. Their lives are full of swirling craziness. They have no stability. It’s not their fault but, nonetheless, they usually get the blame. By their spouses. By others.
It’s easy enough to stand by doing nothing to help and wonder why she (or he) doesn’t leave or why they put up with it. I’ve heard it suggested that, if an abused wife didn’t like being mistreated, she’d leave. In Christian circles, it’s far too often suggested that she must be “doing something” to cause her spouse (“such a good, godly man”) to lose his patience with her. I’ve heard folks say men who claim to be abused are obviously lying. Believe those things and you are buying into lies.