The Tragedy of Shaming
By Natalie Rose Greenfield - Posted at My Naptime Journal:
I've told my story broadly for years and little by little I've delved deeper into certain aspects of it. The long term abuse I suffered as a young teen has many layers and to address them all in detail would take up an entire novel, so I'll do it slowly and as seems fitting and needed in this grander scheme of raising awareness for these issues and helping others develop a greater understanding of a complicated and destructive problem in our society at large and especially within our churches.
My story does not stand alone. It is far from an anomaly. You've probably seen the statistics. We have a responsibility as a culture to know what to do when someone tells us they have been abused, and our words and actions in response to a victim of abuse has the power of great healing or great destruction. Speaking out about something as intimate and uncomfortable as sexual abuse takes so much strength and it places the victim in a highly exposed state which leaves them vulnerable to further trauma if those around them do not respond with love, support, openness, and needed resources for their healing, and that healing will undoubtedly take many years, if not a lifetime. When a victim speaks out and is not met with judgement-free love and support, their feelings of shame and worthlessness are compounded and they internalize feelings of such deep rejection and isolation that many times it is as though they are being traumatized all over again. The act of being marginalized and re-traumatized after sexual abuse can be devastating for victims. Suicide rates among victims of sexual abuse are high.
My story does not stand alone. It is far from an anomaly. You've probably seen the statistics. We have a responsibility as a culture to know what to do when someone tells us they have been abused, and our words and actions in response to a victim of abuse has the power of great healing or great destruction. Speaking out about something as intimate and uncomfortable as sexual abuse takes so much strength and it places the victim in a highly exposed state which leaves them vulnerable to further trauma if those around them do not respond with love, support, openness, and needed resources for their healing, and that healing will undoubtedly take many years, if not a lifetime. When a victim speaks out and is not met with judgement-free love and support, their feelings of shame and worthlessness are compounded and they internalize feelings of such deep rejection and isolation that many times it is as though they are being traumatized all over again. The act of being marginalized and re-traumatized after sexual abuse can be devastating for victims. Suicide rates among victims of sexual abuse are high.
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