Skip to main content

Reblogged: A Christian Wife’s Marriage Catechism (with comments by Angela Wittman)

For my readers: I am reblogging this Catechism because I am a Christian wife whose husband has not yet confessed Christ and I have found the principles expressed in this catechism to have given me great peace and encouragement during my 30+ yrs. of marriage.

While my friends were divorcing, the good Lord gave me the patience and faith to stay in a difficult (at times) situation and trust Him with the outcome. Now my husband and I are closer than when we were first married and he has become more loving and gentle with me. Of course, if a wife is in an abusive situation, she should flee to safety, but if one is in a tolerable situation, hang in there and trust God. He will heal your broken heart and life. May His name be praised.

And for the Christian man who finds himself in a similar situation, here is a link to "A Christian Husband's Marriage Catechism:"

*After "reblogging" this article yesterday and expressing support for the Biblical principles it contains, I was challenged to provide Scripture and portions of the Westminster Confession of Faith that support points 11 and 12:

Q11. How good a husband is my husband to me?
A11. Much better than I deserve, and therefore I will thank God for him every day.

Q12. How good a wife am I to my husband?
A12. Much worse than I ought to be, and therefore I will confess my sins to God every day, asking forgiveness, and to my husband as needed, and continue in prayer for grace to grow into the excellent wife that God wants me to be, and that would be such a blessing to my husband.

My response was to look for Scriptures pertaining to humility, because I sincerely believe this is the message the author was trying to portray in these two specific points. When one is a Christian, there is a profound sense of one's sin and we acknowledge that we deserve hell, but glory be to God, we have received grace and mercy instead. Of course this humble attitude can and will be exploited and hated by wicked men, but it is an outworking of our sanctification and is something true believers cannot help having.  One cannot delete portions of Scripture because wicked men will abuse and twist them. The Word of God or attitude of the believer is not the problem. The problem is the wicked men who are not truly regenerate - this is why church discipline is so important: The goats need to be exposed and removed from the assembly and their families need godly intervention for protection.

I also posted this section of the Westminster Confession of Faith:

Chapter XXIV Of Marriage and Divorce

I. Marriage is to be between one man and one woman: neither is it lawful for any man to have more than one wife, nor for any woman to have more than one husband, at the same time.[1]

II. Marriage was ordained for the mutual help of husband and wife,[2] for the increase of mankind with a legitimate issue, and of the Church with an holy seed;[3] and for preventing of uncleanness.[4]

III. It is lawful for all sorts of people to marry, who are able with judgment to give their consent.[5] Yet it is the duty of Christians to marry only in the Lord.[6] And therefore such as profess the true reformed religion should not marry with infidels, papists, or other idolaters: neither should such as are godly be unequally yoked, by marrying with such as are notoriously wicked in their life, or maintain damnable heresies.[7]

IV. Marriage ought not to be within the degrees of consanguinity or affinity forbidden by the Word.[8] Nor can such incestuous marriages ever be made lawful by any law of man or consent of parties, so as those persons may live together as man and wife.[9] The man may not marry any of his wife's kindred, nearer in blood then he may of his own: nor the woman of her husband's kindred, nearer in blood than of her own.[10]

V. Adultery or fornication committed after a contract, being detected before marriage, gives just occasion to the innocent party to dissolve that contract.[11] In the case of adultery after marriage, it is lawful for the innocent party to sue out a divorce and, after the divorce,[12] to marry another, as if the offending party were dead.[13]

VI. Although the corruption of man be such as is apt to study arguments unduly to put asunder those whom God has joined together in marriage: yet, nothing but adultery, or such wilful desertion as can no way be remedied by the Church, or civil magistrate, is cause sufficient of dissolving the bond of marriage:[14] wherein, a public and orderly course of proceeding is to be observed; and the persons concerned in it not left to their own wills, and discretion, in their own case.[15]


Marriage is not to be entered into lightly, nor should it be with an unbeliever. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is abusive before marriage, it will only escalate after you're legally tied to that person. It is best to walk away from an abuser - you can't change them. And by all means possible, protect yourself and your children from abuse: Call the police and seek out a shelter where you will be sheltered and helped. If your church defends the abuser, then you should probably separate and look for a healthy church that will help you and your children. Frankly, if a man has beaten you, he is probably being unfaithful in the marriage bed as well. Seek proof and act accordingly, is my advice. Keep your conscience clear before God and seek His comfort and protection.

In conclusion, please know that I am the daughter of a woman who was so badly beaten by her first husband, a youth pastor, that she had to literally flee in the middle of the night, leaving her sons and belongings behind. It really was a matter of life and death for my mother and she suffered greatly when the church and even her own mother took the side of the abuser. Sadly, she became very bitter at the church in general and her mother in particular. I don't believe those wounds ever healed before her death in 1995. I pray this doesn't happen to any of God's children.

May the good Lord send His mercy and grace to victims of domestic violence and may He deal with the wicked who parade as Christians, but in reality are ravenous wolves. In Lord Jesus Name I pray, Amen.

**For Scripture Proofs for the "Christian Wife's Marriage Catechism," please see:

***And for Pastor Meadows final thoughts, please see:


  1. Hey IB - Thanks for the "Like." I had no idea this little catechism would stir such controversy... Praying for you! I know you're in a difficult state that is at odds with Scripture and almost anything Christian. :(

  2. There were some good truths in there, so thanks for sharing it!

    I too have managed to remain married in the midst of so much divorce and misery and although my husband is an awesome guy and committed to our marriage, it is biblical principles and faith in God that has sustained us.

    There is a lot of joy to be found in marriage and of course, peace and love, but I agree with the idea that marriage is not about making you happy. That might be a hidden fruit, but these days far too many people go into marriage with outrageous expectations. I joke about marriage being more like serving 30 to life, but if your expectations are lower, everything good is like a pleasant surprise.

  3. Amen! I think you are a brave woman and your husband is a blessed man. Love ya, sister. :)

  4. Thank you for this encouraging perspective! While both my husband and I have been Christians, nether of us are perfect, obviously. I wish I had learned years ago how to respond with a gentle and quiet spirit instead of with pride and fear. I found great encouragement to in this catechism to keep at the work of laying down my life like my dearest Christ did. :-)

  5. After further reflection and having to defend my agreement with this catechism on Facebook, I want to publicly thank the good Lord for allowing previous heartbreak and isolation in my marriage. It drew me into a deep dependence upon the Lord and His Word that others might not ever know. The tears I cried were soothed by the promises of God and frankly, His Word was my anchor and comfort during the rough times. I don't think my relationship with Him would be as sweet or deep if I had not experienced these things. So, dear Lord Jesus, You are still my first love and I am extremely grateful for Your work in my marriage and my husband's heart. You've calmed the rough seas and set my feet on a smooth path. I love You for ever. Amen.

  6. Thanks for the comment. Yes, I agree I didn't help matters by making blanket statements. I have a tendency to do that and I apologize. Also, the pastor who wrote the catechism is not the owner of the blog where it is published. He doesn't monitor the comments. I communicated with him via Facebook and he really does seem to be a good pastor. His catechism was written for wives who are married to unbelievers - not abusive men. Yes, I came to know Christ after 12 years of marriage to my husband. I have great hope he'll come to know the Lord, too. :) I think this is such a highly charged, emotional issue that it's easy for us to find disagreement, when we really should be seeking common ground.


Post a Comment

Please feel free to comment, but profanity, anti-Christian or argumentative comments will not be published. Thank you, ed.

Featured Posts

How abandoning Sola Scriptura shipwrecks your faith

By Amy Spreeman - Posted at Berean Research:

What is the difference between the spiritual transformation that happens through the Holy Spirit, and the Spiritual Formation movement that swept through our churches a few years ago?

The difference is night and day. I remember talking about this with the late Ken Silva in 2012. He helped me understand that the Spiritual Formation movement provided the platform and a channel through which mystical practices began entering many different evangelical and traditional denominations.

Unfortunately, this type of experience has moved many believers into an unbiblical, mystical form of Christianity. It’s based on the premise that if we do certain meditative practices and ancient rituals, we can be more like Jesus and find God within ourselves.
Continue reading...

See also:
What is the spiritual formation movement? - Got Questions?What Is Spiritual Formation and Why Does It Matter? - GTYJohn MacArthur on Spiritual Formation and Biblical Sanctification - …

Ontario, Canada: 'Judge Rules in Favor of Christian Couple Who Lost Foster Children for Refusing to Lie About Easter Bunny'

By Heather Clark - Posted at Christian News Network:

ONTARIO — A Superior Court judge in Canada has ruled in favor of a Christian couple who lost their foster children, and were prevented from caring for other children, after refusing to lie by claiming that the Easter Bunny was delivering candy to their home.

Derek and Frances Baars are Reformed Presbyterians and began fostering two girls, ages three and five, in December 2015. However, shortly after the girls were placed in their home, concerns were raised by the Children’s Aid Society that the couple was not going to play Santa Claus and Easter Bunny with the children.

The Baars, who according to legal documents, do not celebrate Christmas or Easter at all, said that they were willing to buy the girls gifts and give them candy if the biological parents expected them to do so, but would not tell the children that the goodies were from Santa or the Easter Bunny.

Notes had been written in the home study in regard to the couple’s religiou…

Big Brother Is Coming for Your Kids, and He’s Wearing a Dress

By Laurie Higgins - Posted at Americans For Truth About Homosexuality:

You want to know where the “trans” insanity is taking us—I mean, besides co-ed private spaces everywhere, which means no private spaces anywhere?

Look no further than Regulation 225, a proposed amendment to the Delaware school code, which, if passed, will allow students of any age to “self-identify” their “gender or race” at school without their parents’ knowledge if students say their parents would not be “supportive.” Don’t believe me? Read it yourself in Section 7.4 and Sec. 7.4.1:

All students enrolled in a Delaware public school may self-identify gender or race…. A school may request permission from the parent or legal guardian of a minor student before a self-identified gender or race is accepted; provided, however, that prior to requesting the permission from a parent or legal guardian, the school should consult and work closely with the student to assess the degree to which, if any, the parent or legal guardia…

Judgement: The Doctrine Lost to the Modern Pulpit

By Howard Davies - Posted at The Banner of Truth:

In John Bunyan’s book The Pilgrim’s Progress, the story begins with Christian discovering news which causes him great alarm. Clothed in rags and with a burden upon his back, he is distressed to learn from a book he has been reading that the city he lives in is soon to be destroyed by fire from heaven. He tells his wife and children of their terrible danger. They must immediately try to escape.

But the response of his family is to think he has gone mad! As night is coming on they hasten to put him to bed in the hope that he might recover his senses by morning. However, the next day find him even more troubled. He wanders alone in the fields, sighing and reading from the book in his hands. Occasionally he is heard to cry out: ‘What must I do to be saved?’

In days of great spiritual darkness those called by God to preach the gospel have a sobering task. Our present world is still as Bunyan saw it. It is the City of Destruction. Mankind li…

Bible Burning in Southern India Shows Depth of Hostility Toward Christians

Posted at Morning Star News:

Report denotes leap in anti-Christian attacks in 2017.
HYDERABAD, India (Morning Star News) – Hindu extremists in southern India issued harsh threats to Christians distributing Bibles before snatching their car keys, taking Bibles out of their vehicle and setting the Scripture on fire, sources said.
Christians associated with Gideons International, all senior citizens, told Morning Star News that their advanced age did not temper the vitriol they received in Singotam village, Nagar Kurnool District, in Telangana state on Jan. 21.
“From now on, if any of you distribute Bibles, we will attack you brutally [till your genitalia are damaged],” one of the Hindus warned the Christians, according to a video the extremists took of the attack. “How dare you promote Christianity?”
Continue reading...